


Did Someone Say Yoga?

by gaybikachu



Category: Young Blood - sleazeboss (Webcomic)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Doggy Style, Jealousy, Lapdance, M/M, Sexual Tension, Smut, Yoga, asmo SUCKS balls, if youve played gtav you already know the plot to this, oh ye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 12:16:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaybikachu/pseuds/gaybikachu
Summary: Satan doesn't even like yoga





	Did Someone Say Yoga?

**Author's Note:**

> im not dead yet bitches  
> this is loosely based on a mission in gta5 with the same name except satan and asmo have good communication and also theres sex.

_“Hey guys, what’s up? Thanks for tuning into Malphas’ Mellow Meditation; the number one relaxation podcast in the underworld-”_

Satan skipped two minutes ahead to avoid the obnoxious introduction he had heard over a dozen times. The woman’s perky voice filled his ears as he rooted through his kitchen cupboards, grabbing an array of green fruits and vegetables.

_"You. Guys. This is my FAVORITE Green Juice Recipe. I’ve actually been drinking it for almost two years now, ever since we got our new juicer, and I cannot BELIEVE-”_

“Christ. Just tell me how to make it already.”

The podcast paused for a moment, the default ringtone coming from his phone. Satan rolled his eyes, thumb already hovering over the “End Call” button when he saw that it was-

_Mammon._

“Shit. _Shit._ ” The demon put his phone to his ear, “Mammon. Whaddya need?”

“Hi Sadie!” a sing-song voice replied, “Whatcha doing?”

Satan glanced at his abandoned juice ingredients, “Nothing.”

“Nothing, huh?” He heard her shuffling, probably in her bed, “You’re not getting ready?”

Already, a twitch of irritation was laced in his voice, “Enough of the cutesy shit, Mammon. Why’d you call me?”

“Oh, don’t be so _mean,_ Sadie! I’m calling about our yoga date.”

_Yoga date?_

Satan whirled around to his work calendar, looking at the current date. It was filled with the days activities; first a morning jog, then a shower and stretch, try that new juice...followed by an activity he did not list. Mammon’s flowy script reading: _Yoga Date with Your Beautiful Benefactor._

Of course.

“Uh-huh.” Satan responded; failing to keep the ire out of his tone, “Our yoga date.”

“Right. So, um! I’m sick, so I’m gonna have to take a rain check, Sadie.” 

Satan furrowed his brows. Mammon? _Sick?_ “Really? You don’t get sick easily...and it’s the middle of the summer-”

Mammon coughed dryly into the phone, “Yup! I’m totally sick. I’m like, dying over here.”

“Uh, okay? I guess I’ll tell the teacher not to show up then-”

“No! No, um, about that. I felt really, _really_ , bad about cancelling on you…” Mammon trailed off. Satan raised his brows in disbelief, but let her continue, “Sooo, I called Asmo and told him to give you some company!”

Satan scoffed, “Mammon, I don’t care about yoga that much. Let's just reschedule. I’ll tell Asmodeus to not worry about it.”

“Yeah, about that-” The doorbell rang on her end, interrupting her, “Um, he’s on his way already! I gotta go throw up now, toodles!” 

“Mammon, wait-” Satan stopped as the end call tone played back at him. He wrinkled his nose, “That changes things…” He studied the food waiting for him on his counter. “And I really wanted to try that juice…”

Sometimes the smallest things in life were the saddest.

* * *

“Hello, darling! I’m so glad you- or rather, Mammon- invited me over; It’s been so _long_ since we’ve done something together!”

 _That’s because Bub is a party crashing bozo,_ Satan thought, eyeing Asmodeus up and down in the foyer. The lust demon looked as if he went to the nearest sportswear section and asked for the most alluring outfit they had. Everything he wore was tight, black, and form fitting; except for the light blue jacket Asmodeus donned in the cool summer morning. His top was cropped at the edge of his ribs, showcasing his soft, toned belly. The tights he wore were simple enough, but they sculpted to his long legs and thick thighs as if they were painted on. 

Satan felt mildly under dressed in his old sweatpants and a band t-shirt from Lucifer.

He stepped aside to let Asmodeus in, letting the other continue talking more to himself than anything. The pair made their way to the kitchen, where an emerald concoction was waiting for Satan.

Asmodeus stalled in his current tale of indirectly tormenting Bub, “Satan, dear...what is _that?_ ”

He took a sip from the deep green drink; pleased to get a word into the conversation, “Some green juice I heard about. It’s just some vegetables and shit. And some protein powder, but I added that myself.” He held the juice out, “You wanna sip?”

Asmodeus raised his hand in refusal, mild distaste etched on his features, “Ah- No, no- I brought my own water, but thank you, darling.”

“More for me.” Satan shrugged and sipped the bitter drink.

The other demon opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a drawn out tone. Satan made strides towards the door, speaking over his shoulder, “Must be the yoga guy. Meet me by the pool; that’s where we usually do it.”

Satan never bothered to learn the yoga instructors name, the guy seemed too jumpy to want to talk to him more than necessary. Whatever. The spindly demon stood at his door and gave a quick bow of his head, “Namaste, Lord Satan.”

He ushered the other in, “Yeah, Namaste, or whatever. Listen, I’ve got a friend with me today so let's not do anything too involved, alright? I don’t have time to deal with a pulled muscle today.”

The lanky demon nodded, looking more like an obedient bobble head than a person. They made their way to the pool in the backyard, where Asmodeus had already laid the mats down and was stretching on the baby blue one. He waved coquettishly at the pair, his attention more on Satan than the other.

“Oh, oh, wow.” The yoga instructor said with a blush creeping up his neck, “Your friend is, uh-”  
“A lust demon. He’s always like this, don’t worry about it.” Satan took his place on the other mat, sitting cross legged.

The instructor offered a sweaty hand to Asmodeus, “Uh, N-namaste…?”

He took his hand into his own, “Oh! Namaste to you too, handsome! I’m Asmodeus, Lord of Lust. You might have heard of my bordello-”

“He doesn’t care about your bordello, Asmo-”

“I’m just making conversation, Satan! Must you be so huffy all the time?” Satan scoffed and rolled his eyes as Asmodeus continued, “Maybe we should start the lesson, to make ol’ Satan relax, hm?”

The yoga master squeaked in agreement.

* * *

They weren’t even done doing the warm up stretches and the poor instructor was failing to hide his hardon for Asmodeus. Satan didn’t really care, it was _Asmodeus_ after all, the lust demon was probably amping his pheromones or something. And with the position of their mats, he certainly got an eyeful of the electric blue thong under his tights. Plus, Asmodeus didn’t seem to mind all the extra attention, so it wasn’t a problem.

Right?

Satan couldn’t help but focus on the nagging feeling in his gut while they were meditating in the first pose. (“Padmasana, friends. Focus on your breathing.”) Keeping his eyes slightly open as he watched the teacher stare openly at an oblivious Asmodeus.

They moved to the Sphinx Pose next, Satan looking away as the instructor kept Asmodeus’ lower back down and encouraged him to stretch farther. Next came “Upavistha Konasana”, the teacher’s attempt at impressing Asmo with his yoga knowledge was quickly shot down under Satan’s dark glare. Asmodeus flourished in this pose, stretching his long legs far apart and leaning forward with ease. He chuckled as he watched Satan try and match his flexibility, coyly giving his ass a small shake in jest. He didn’t notice the yoga master fiddle with the crotch area of his shorts; nor did he care.

Satan did. 

Then came the Downward Dog, the first pose Asmodeus knew without any explanation. He rested his head in his arms as he raised his ass up and spread his legs far, giving Satan bedroom eyes all the while. Satan snorted at his antics, and was following suit when the yoga instructor spoke up.

“Ah, Asmodeus, love,” _Funny how he picked up Asmo’s pet names all of the sudden,_ Satan thought, “You need to try pulling your hips back a bit more in this stretch.”

“Oh? Like _this_ _?”_ The lust demon asked slyly, arching his back more without breaking his gaze from Satan.

“Uh, sorta- here-” The yoga instructor slide behind him and rested his hands on his hips, guiding him back, “Back into my pelvis.”

Multiple things happened in that moment.

Asmodeus started laughing, whether in coyness or because he knew what was about to happen was unknown. Satan got up and charged at the demon touching Asmodeus, his face dark and unreadable. The yoga instructor was enjoying the view of Asmodeus’ behind, looking up to see an extremely pissed wrath demon about to tackle him. He shrieked, throwing his hands in the air for mercy. But Satan did not become a Lord of Wrath for being merciful. The lanky demon was knocked over by the weight of Satan’s body and launched into the pool. Asmodeus laughed harder, a few unattractive snorts slipping out of him.

“ _Don’t fucking touch him.”_ Satan hissed towards the direction of the pool, swept down and picked a hysterical Asmodeus up, and stormed back into the house.

Asmodeus was tossed onto the bed, his laughing fit beginning to die down, “Darling, I cannot believe-”

“What, that I pushed the fucker into the pool? He had it coming.” Satan already had a cigar in his mouth, and was lighting it with some simple magic, “Who the fuck does he think he is? Putting his hands on you like that. I should have ripped them off.”

“Oh, come now, dearest, you know there’s no need for the theatrics,” Asmodeus stood and moved behind the other demon, resting his head on his shoulder, “You know that you’re the only one who gives me what I need.”

“Oh, yeah?” Satan set his cigar on the ashtray. “Where are you going with this, Asmo?”

“You always spoil me, beloved,” Asmodeus sighed dreamily, dragging his hands down Satan’s front, “So for once, let me take care of you.”

Satan spun around to respond but Asmodeus pressed his lips onto his hungrily. The wrath demon pushed his whole weight back, parting briefly to watch Asmodeus fall to the bed. Satan pinned his wrists and scraped his sharp canines against his throat, lightly enough to not leave a mark, but deep enough to make Asmodeus shiver.

Satan moved to work the other’s tights off him, but Asmodeus took his hands in his instead, “Let me.”

They switch positions, Satan leaning back to rest his weight on his elbows as Asmodeus rose with a gentle sway in his hips. _He always was a good dancer_ , the smaller man thought, watching Asmodeus move to a soundless song. The demon hums, mostly to himself, as he popped his hips back and smoothly worked his ass back onto the other demon's lap. Satan tried to squeeze the soft, supple flesh, but Asmodeus batted his hands away, “I _said,_ let me.”

Satan snorted at his brattiness, but pulls away.

Asmodeus pulled the others shirt up and off, and sat himself firmly on his lap. He rolled his hips deeply into him as Satan groaned contentedly. “Tell me,” Asmodeus starts, “What’s your favorite part of my outfit today? I saw you looking me up earlier.”

“The bright blue thong you’re wearing.”

Asmodeus paused, and pulled back, “How did you-”

Satan grabbed his hips and grinded him hard against him, “When you were shaking your ass in my face. Your tights got pretty sheer, and I saw your thong through ‘em.” He chuckled, “Bet everyone who’s seen you in this got an eyeful.”

Asmo sniffed indignantly, “I doubt that.” He nibbled at Satan’s neck, steadily working his way down his exposed chest, sliding off his lap and resting his head on his thighs. “Take out your cock.”

Satan reached over and grabbed his cigar, taking a long drag from it, “What’s the magic word?”

“Blowjob?”

Satan shrugged nonchalantly, but a dark gleam in his eye hinted at his desire, “Sounds about right to me.”

He pulled his dick out as asked, Asmodeus working it immediately. The lust demon kissed down his length while lightly grasping it in his soft hand. He focused his attention on the base and balls as he pumped the length in a steady rhythm.

Satan flicked his shrinking cigar over the ashtray, “Hey. It’s not a _blowjob_ if it’s not in your mouth, is it? You short changin’ me?”

Asmodeus smiled playfully, but did not respond. Verbally. Physically, he gave a scathing retort by mouthing gently around his sack, lolling his warm tongue on the sensitive area. Satan gripped his hair in a tight fist- refusing to give Asmodeus the satisfaction of making him _moan._ The lust demon started to hum again, the low vibrations sending a jolt through his dick. Asmodeus pulls away for a single moment, and follows a vein up Satan’s dick with the very tip of his wet tongue, circles the crown once- and plunges the length down his throat.

Both hands are fisted in Asmodeus’ hair now, Satan only allowing himself a low growl while Asmodeus pretended to gag around his cock. The other demon could easily let Satan fuck his throat without a sound from Asmodeus’ end- but where was the fun in that?

So he sucked and gagged and _drooled_ on Satan’s dick obscenely, something he would only do for _him_.

“Ngh, Asmo-” he pulled off his cock slowly, letting a strand of spit stay between him and his _wonderful_ cock, “Yes, sir?”

Satan’s dick jumped at the title, something Satan ignored in favor of one last drag from his cigar before stamping it out, “Get up here.”

Satan managed to get his tights past his ass by the time he was seated back in his lap. They were both pent up and clawing at each other with no real progress being made. Asmodeus refused to stop kissing Satan deeply, who in turn was unable to focus on stripping the other. Satan pushes and holds him away to speak, “Christ, just let me- fuck it, you take off your clothes and I’ll get the lube.”

Asmodeus nods and rolls off him, stripping his tights and lying in the same position that got them there in the first place: face down, ass high in the air. Satan kneels behind him, pulling the waistband of the thong back and letting it go with a sharp _smack!_ “Thought I told you to get naked?”

“Well, no, you told me to take off my clothes. Not to get naked.” Asmodeus said smugly, “And I wanted you to take off my thong, since you like it so much.”

Satan grabbed the ends of it and leaned his weight over him, “If you keep playing your little games, I’m just gonna fuck your throat and kick you out like I was originally planning.”

Asmodeus gives a knowing smile in reply, as Satan pulls the slightly damp slip off him. He can feel the heat radiating from his cunt, which is already slick and aching for him. The wrath devil pulled back to rest his weight on his knees while he slowly pushed the head of his cock into him.

Asmodeus spread himself farther and gave a content moan under him, feeling himself stretch around the familiar thickness. Satan was surprisingly gentle, rubbing his clit slowly as he gave him time to adjust to each inch given to make up for the lack of preparation. Asmodeus looked over his shoulder, and made his ass give that little, teasing shake from before.

That broke whatever was holding Satan back. His nails dug sharp crescents into Asmodeus’ hips as he fucked into him earnestly. Asmodeus whined in relief as he was plowed into by the smaller demon. He reached for one of his cocks to pump, but his head was wretched painfully upward by Satan, “ _No.”_

Asmodeus shivered when Satan pulled out completely, and railed back in to make his whole length rub his favorite spot. He spoke in his ear darkly, “No. You’re _mine._ You’re gonna cum from me pounding that tight cunt- me playing with your swollen clit and _nothing else._ Am I clear?”

He cried beneath him, “Yes! Oh, god, god _yes._ ”

Satan let him go to lean forward again, shallowly thrusting into the demon below him, “ _Good Boy.”_

Satan went back again, straightening his back as he fucked the lust demon. He rubbed his clit in rough, mean circles as Asmodeus cried out again, his legs shaking, toes curling. He whined and moaned beneath him, until Satan reached one of his hands over his mouth, “Shh. Hush. You just take it, Asmodeus. Don’t think, just _take it._ ”

And he did. He let Satan stifle all the cries coming from his mouth as he fucked and used his pussy to his heart's content. And he loved it. Asmodeus was reaching his peak too soon, he wanted more, _more,_ but Satan refused to let him edge it away. Asmodeus threw his hips back, felt Satan fuck him faster, harder and worked himself closer, let him rub his clit a bit rougher until he-!

Satan moaned; an actual, head thrown back, back of the throat _moan_ as he felt Asmodeus cum around him, squeezing nearly painfully. He moves his hand from his mouth and uses it to pivot himself into the other; spilling his load messily inside.

Satan draped himself over Asmodeus, both panting and temporarily spent. Asmodeus simply slumped down and rested in place while Satan pulled his softening cock out and rolled beside him, too lazy to light another cigar.

They rest like that for a long while, Asmodeus predictably breaking the silence, “Darling?”

“Yeah? You thirsty? Need some water, Asmo?”

Asmodeus shook his head, “No, thank you. I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. You said I was yours?”

Satan rolled over to face him, “Oh. That. I dunno, I was just talkin’ dirty...but you know what? Yeah, you’re mine, Asmodeus.”

He chuckled, “I thought so.” He moves to rest his chin on his hand, giving him a wicked grin, “I’ll only be your’s on one condition.”

Satan chuckled, “What’s that?”

“You’re mine.”

Satan looked, actually _looked_ at Asmodeus then; he saw the same teasing smile he always had on, but he caught himself staring into his deeply serious eyes.

“Sounds fair to me.”

“Good. Good,” Asmo sighed like a weight was lifted off his chest. 

Satan sat up, “Hey, Asmo, I-”

“U-Uh, hello?” A nervous voice was outside the door, “Um, Mister Lord Satan, I’m really sorry about before, but I wanted to remind you I still need to be paid-”

Asmodeus simply laid back, and watched in amusement as a sweaty, sex-hazed Satan went to attempt second-degree murder.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to mammon, who faked being sick to rub kitties with some hot demon girl or something. shes the real mvp of this story.  
> what was satan about to say to asmo????????? i'll never tell.  
> as i always say, leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it or maybe have some criticisms!! they do mean a lot to me uwu i love y'all


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